Large Marge

Hey darlings, another week has passed since my last outpouring of intelligence and wit. I know you may all be wondering what I've been doing this week as I probably am your role model and/or idol. Obviously I've just been maintaining my celeb lifestyle and having the general public lap up the stories I tell like I'm Enid Blighton. Today's been particularly funny, been bumming around with my friends Cara and Will, (who is such a playaaaaa and gets all the bitches) people watching. Whilst people watching we noticed that a very large proportion of the population, is generally quite large. Now some of you won't like this, I'm not trying to be nasty, but the following things just wind me up. I'm not going to apologise for it so if you're offended easily don't read the rest of this post.

We began discussing fat people. It got brought up after a small altercation broke out last night where I told some rude, vile chav to 'enjoy weightwatchers you fat c u next tuesday' which admittedly, was wrong but I was very wound up at the time. Now I'm not by any means saying I'm perfect, I've got a forehead the size of Wales, my toes are horrific and most men have bigger boobs than I do. But I admit that. I know it. I don't sit there moaning that I've got a massive forehead but scrape my hair back to show it off, I've got a fringe for a reason. So it's the same principle when a large person sits there with a slab of cheese and a Big Mac meal moaning that they're fat. Eat a salad then. I know people come in different shapes and sizes and I'm all for embracing it, but don't expect me to feel sorry for you when you're shoving 8 mars bars down your throat. 

Also I really hate it when a guy thinks he's so stacked, wearing a tee (probably G Star, let's face it) but actually he's just fat.

Airports annoy me. When I go on holiday I pack my suitcase like everyone else, trying to get all my stuff in without exceeding the 15kg limit. Obviously as a girl, I get there, check in, and my case is overweight by 1kg. So I get to pay £60 for the privilege for some lazy, thieving fuck from baggage handling to put my bag on the plane. But for all those people who weigh 30 stone, they don't have to pay more. I don't understand. The plane can obviously still take off with all those fat northerners on the plane but my extra 1kg is causing an issue. Genuinely going to start wearing all my clothes to the airport like Joey in Friends and do lunges across the departure lounge.

'Celebrities' whose careers are dwindling so they quite clearly binge eat so that they get a bit porky and can release a fitness DVD really grinds on me. The most recent culprit of this is Maria Fowler. Now, I thought she was funny on TOWIE, don't get me wrong but if you've put on a few pounds you wouldn't walk round with  your gut (or 'gunt' as Will's mum calls it - work it out for yourself) hanging out of your CROPPED jacket just so you can get in Heat magazine. A story of 'I've lost all my confidence since gaining 2 stone' will probs pull you in a bit of paper and then you can release the DVD and then do the 'before and after story'. But babes, Lycra is not a good look for anyone.

So there you have it. I'm most likely going to get hate mail now So just to be clear, I don't have a problem with fat people, I just have a problem with those who participate in the above activities. Over and out.