So my ploy of being a v big time celeb is obviously working guys, I now have some friends that sometimes want to hang out with me more than once a week and are more than willing to let me attend without washing my feet. I've realised that I'm now considered so cool darling, plus I've had more than 3000 views on my blog so that's potench 3000 people who have fallen in love with me, duuuuuh.
Right basically it's coming up to Christmas as you probably know from the tiny cardboard doors you struggle to open every day that reveal the smallest possible piece of chocolate you will have ever seen in your life. I'm not going to sit here and lie, I'm not a massive Christmas fan because it is SUCH a ballache, however this year I'm trying my hardest not to be a Scrooge. My only ish is no one's going to be interested in hearing about all the lovely things about Jesus' birthday so I thought I'd share some things that I specifically hate about Christmas.
Smug couples. You know the types I mean. The ones who insist on telling you their plans together over the festive period whilst you know you're going to be sat there on Christmas day drinking several bottles of champagne to yourself, eating three times your daily allowance in calories and probably finish the day off with your head down the toilet. The ones who will be wearing matching jumpers and decorating their tree together and then take a photo of them in front of it and put it on Instagram. I know they're just bragging about their bauble hanging skills. In the lead up to Christmas day you have the honour of hearing about what they're going to put in their "other half's" stocking and how they've bickered about whose family's house to spend the day at. GOD give me a BREAK. Christmas is just an excuse to go out every night of the week and get utterly shitfaced.
Christmas songs. They drive me absolutely fucking insane. They're the same year upon year. Why has no one composed a new one yet?! I don't give a fuck about whether Santa Claus is coming to town, because quite frankly, anyone over the age of 10 knows he isn't. Also, if you gave your heart to someone last Christmas and they gave it away, more fool you. Because if you did that you'd be dead and I think you'll find that's called the Black Market.
Food. I'm grateful that I have food, not saying that it's a bad thing. I just really don't understand everyone's need to constantly eat in the lead up, on, and after Christmas. I eat when I'm hungry. Surely you can't be hungry 24/7 for a 10 day period, you can survive without food for weeks at a time. Then once you've piled all the pounds on everyone's on a 'New Year, New You' diet. Just don't eat as much then you wouldn't have that qualm.
One of the things I hate most about Christmas is how I constantly hemorrhage cash for presents, parties, alcohol, food, meals and what not. It's excessive. Now, I'm not a tight person at all, if anything I would say I'm overly generous but is it really necessary to buy for your best friend's brothers girlfriends cousins wife? No. Not at all. But when you say you're
"Not doing presents this year" everyone looks at you like you've just abducted a child and buried them on the yorkshire moors.
I have serious issues with tinsel. It's tacky. It irritates my skin. And I want to burn every inch of the stuff. Why people insist on putting this in their homes as a decorative feature is beyond me. It is 100% not at all chic darling.
So there you have it. 10 minus 5 things I hate about Christmas. Have a good one darls.
